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Kathy D. Infeld Blog

MISS YOU ALREADY

20080616163312_sunset_coupleThere is nothing like the more frequent and intense visiting that goes with the holidays. We get our fill of relatives we love dearly and then in a moment it is all over. We are left with relief and loss. After all, we got used to talking, schmoozing, hugs and eating together every day. Maybe we even strained ourselves sharing that special activity we used to know. Eventually there is the desperation for some time alone.

Well when the relatives have gone I’m left with, “I miss you already”. It used to make me sad for a day or so and then normal life seemed to take over. Letting go of loved ones is a process. Throughout all of this I know though that there is someone along side of me who isn’t going anywhere. That’s my husband, soul mate, lover, friend, and partner. His love leaves me with love inside to spare. As a person I choose to love with all my heart and love receiving that back. Thank you honey for being there when “I miss you already” is here again and I have love to spare.

 

WE ARE CONNECTED

imagesHave you ever noticed when you and your spouse or partner are both positive about something happening...it happens. The opposite is true too. If you stand on two different sides of an issue say for example you each voted for different candidates for President, you would cancel out each others vote. Learning how you are connected in your impact on the world is key.

Recently my husband and I were talking about a subject that had surfaced many times. One of us was consistently positive about it and the other,consistently pessimistic. Both of us have “can do attitudes” about differing things. All of a sudden we saw how we might be thwarting this great thing happening just with our differing attitudes and subsequent approach. It was a light bulb moment.

Needless to say we changed what we were doing. If either of us now has a fearful, pessimistic, or doubting moment, we talk about it together and work it until we are on the same page. That doesn’t mean that we are unrealistic or not willing to do the work to accomplish something. It just means that “we are connected” and there is a positive power to creating something together. Try it and see.

 

DAY AND NIGHT

A client recently told me about her dilemma with her husband. She is a night person and he is a morning person. What that means is that often during their most awake and alert hours the other spouse is asleep or close to it. So playing, working, planning and loving together often got passed over. She no longer wanted their worlds to feel so far apart.

I told her that she could invite him into her world more often. She went home and offered to come to bed earlier each night. He stayed up a little later. Neither of them completely changed their schedule but it got a little closer. What did change was their inviting each other’s closeness. In this quiet time together away from the rest of the family and life, she could tell her husband.”I love you so much”. Her husband could tell her,”You mean so much to me”. Their connecting often included just talking and laying there with each other. The special ingredients were that they got to feel close , and support each. If much of their day wasn’t around each other, that was okay . They were connected.

Whatever your schedules, preferences, interests and activities, always remember to find a way to connect and feel close every day. That love and devotion will carry you through almost everything.

 
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