‘She Loves Me She Loves Me Not ‘

I have been interviewing and receiving emails about what single people of any age want and need in a mate. Some of them have been married before, some have not. The ones who have been married before, feel that they have learned a lot from their marriage experience (mostly what they don’t want). The singles males and females told me that they have learned from dating over time. No one told me that they were going to give up since this wasn’t a quick process.

One single male told me that he needed to be attracted to the person, that he felt that they would remain attractive over time and that they are nice (He said that if they were not nice that it didn’t matter how attractive they were). One single gal told me that she wanted to feel attracted to the guy but they don’t have to be super handsome. She feels what is most important is intelligence, a sense of humor and similar interests. She also wanted to feel that they always will grow together. A previously married woman said that she wanted to feel that she and this prospective mate could grow old together. She realized relationships are for the long haul and that just marrying the first guy she dated left a lot to be desired.

One way to avoid dating all the wrong people is to take a paper and pen, your laptop, phone or I-pad and make a list of what is essential to you in a mate. You might need a sports enthusiast because you are very athletically inclined and would resent their lack of participation or support. Maybe you just need someone sober and nice. Maybe you know that being listened too is essential for you. The examples are endless. Take the time to get clear about what is essential to you. The first male had three deal-makers or deal-breakers. He knows what he is looking for and he is going to keep going until he gets it. Another gal put her list of needs under her pillow and she got married last month. You can too.

Good hunting-Kathy