We can ruminate about what we should have done, what we should do in the future, or we can work on creating it now. What I am talking about is love and partnership in your life. Maybe you didn’t have good role models, were desperate to be loved, had some pop culture ideas that backfired on you, or you just made a poor match. I invite you to move on and create the love of your life now.

Okay.

What are the most important characteristics that you require in a life partner?

When you meet this someone, what are their most important requirements they have for you? Ask.

Okay you have a good match on characteristics. Now are you both willing to do all the work, fun, communicating, conflict resolution, cherishing that is needed? Both of you need to be willing.

I often explain to singles that if your timing of being ready to do all of this is off, then they are probably not the right one. It’s a woo woo thing but I have found in my experience that timing is everything. I am sure that they are a great guy or gal,but not the one for your match. (Being ready to get into a serious relationship, finances, education, family etc.)

Be ready to look at yourself and your past and how that has shaped your relationship skills. Are you defensive because you were teased your whole childhood? Are you afraid of sex? Do you have unrealistic expectations of a partner? Do you give too much? How are both of your boundaries?

Remember that you do not have to have self love all figured out to have a great relationship. Some of that continues to evolve by being loved. Enjoy your journey.