| Many people think that you meet someone, are attracted to them and just make a life together. Loving someone involves so much more. It takes a willingness to be vulnerable ,let them know who you really are and asking the same of them. Before you begin, you probably will size up whether you have enough in common, similar values, passion, excitement, drive and direction. Once you think that you have met your match, the next step is getting to know each other. Who are each of you when you are happy, sad, mad, anxious, confident, playful, studious, serious, challenged, relaxes, loving, kind, or abrupt ? All kinds of situations will play out for you to discover who each other is inside. Sharing your wishes hopes and dreams, fears, strong qualities, weak qualities, love of family, friends, country, culture, religion, children, leisure, travel, career, financial style and of course… sex. That said, ask yourself, “What am I willing to let them know?” Are you afraid of scaring them off? Everyone is you know. Everyone thinks that if my beloved knew everything about me, they might not still like me. Not so. No one is perfect and we all know that. So go ahead and share a little. Then ask for a little back. Always remember to let them be themselves. Then if you both see personality challenges to commitment, communication, conflict resolution, and cherishing , be sure to seek guidance from a counselor, knowledgeable friends, family, spiritual advisors, books, and workshops and anywhere else that you can think of. I have seen many couples before they marry, and they have made a good choice for forming a wonderful marriage. They want their relationship to be worked out and strong before they say, “I do.” I recently saw a special movie, “Ruby Sparkle”. At the end of the movie the main character shares how he learned to love. The movie is fun, then gets a bit dark, but stay with it to the end. It has a great message. |
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HOW TO LOVE |