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Having a successful relationship requires doing everything you can to learn about yourself, your partner and how to have a successful marriage. People think that commitment is just not giving up. Well I have seen many couples who held on tight to a very dysfunctional relationship until they couldn’t stand it anymore or went numb.

Of course I recommend you being persistent, but persistent with helpful action. Read books, research on line,take classes. workshops, seek counseling, couples therapy, religious education on marriage etc. If the therapist you see isn’t helpful, keep searching until you find one that is.

To begin, take an inventory of what is working and then not currently working in your relationship. Lovingly start a discussion with your spouse that doesn’t make them wrong. It is about making it better. What if they are shocked, thought that everything was fine? Well they were numb about their needs . If one partner is feeling unhappy, it has to spill over onto the other. They maybe have just been unwilling to step out of their comfort zone. Work on a relationship can sometimes be stressful, tense, challenging and yet satisfying. The real fear is whether you will be able to make it better and move forward together.

I have as many husbands who resist the changes as the wives. Who ever is the unhappiest is going to have to start the momentum. I say don’t fear, rejoice that you are working towards something good. If your partner is unwilling, you have a big decision to make.” Am I ready to be a stand for a healthier and happier relationship or will I bury my feelings”. If you bury your feelings and needs , resentment will pile up and the relationship will die or be very unsatisfying. I recommend that you speak up, stay strong , loving and committed, and do the work together. It will be the best Holiday present you could ever give each other.Good luck.