When I was five years old I was competing in a Labor Day relay race and my father was cheering me on. Half way through the race I fell down and skinned my knee. Mostly my pride was skinned. I started to cry and my father yanked me up and told me to finish anyway. I felt hurt, not listened too and not comforted. I shelved the memory away but not the judgment that my father doesn’t listen to me. I added this incident up with all the other interactions that looked like not being heard by my Dad along the years.

Well not that long ago when I casually told a friend about this experience, She said something astounding to me. She wondered if my father had ever fell down in his life and didn’t get up and that that might be why he didn’t want that to happen to me. What a flip in my perception occurred. I could feel his love and support and the ease of things. And I felt love right back. Things are not always as they appear.

Well this applies to all relationships and especially to the couples I work with. Check out what is really happening with your partner. A perception and judgment on our part can be way off. If we don’t communicate and clear experiences up, we can go years misunderstanding. Love flows through communication.

Take an inventory of what interactions you haven’t cleared up, aren’t sure about, have judged, or stuffed down. Talk with your spouse, partner, friend. Have the kind of relationship that brings you close, gives joy and leaves you appreciating the love.