A client recently told me that a major sales approach is ”Failure is not an option”. I recommend this in couples therapy too. The end result has to come from commitment to do all that you can do to grow and understand how to make a relationship work.

This includes looking at yourself and your sensitivities or wounds from the past, what you have been taught growing up in your family, cultural and environmental influences, and your knowledge of what is required to grow a good relationship. Then you can learn how to interact better together.

I say that my five C’s to a successful marriage, Commitment, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Cherish, and Communion of Spirit all start with “Commitment-The willingness and dedication to work on your relationship and to create the kind of marriage that will enhance your life and the life of your spouse.”, a quote from my book, “Creating Love For A Lifetime”.

In my own marriage my husband and I have worked through the years with “Failure is not an option” because we never wanted to go through the excruciating pain of divorce. We didn’t want the excruciating pain of a bad relationship either. We learned to look at ourselves instead of just pointing fingers at each other. We did couples therapy, workshops, spiritual growth and read countless books on successful marriage.

After all, how could a couples therapist not try hard at her own marriage? Both partners have to be willing to do the learning and practice and enjoy the results. When it gets challenging in the middle of the growing, don’t give up. Come from “Failure is not an option”. You will be glad you did.