When my husband and I married almost forty years ago I thought that you marry to have someone to love, someone to love you and to enjoy life with. Little did I know that the greatest gift of a committed relationship is that both people in the relationship get to grow and heal their issues as an individual by working them through with their partner.

For example you might feel taken advantage of by people. In the marriage or committed relationship, if you are willing to listen, your partner might point out that you don’t allow them or others to give back, or maybe that you have rules about the only way that you will receive and you don’t let others know what those rules are. (ie. they have to read your mind.)

Another example is one partner is not assertive and marries a strong personality who can drown out their voice. For the marriage to work and for this partner to grow, they will have to learn to assert themselves more than they might have if they hadn’t married this kind of partner.

One last example might be that one or both of you never felt special in your family. As you have worked through your differences as a couple, the closeness that you build leads to feelings of so much cherishing, love, trust ,and touch . You finally would arrive where you always wanted to be-number one.

Having a good time together is terrific ,but learning to love and like yourself as well as your partner is ”The icing on the cake”. I invite you to make your relationship all that it can be. Read books, do workshops, see a counselor or religious advisor or whatever you find leads you to this end. I wish for you to have ”A Love For A Lifetime.”