One thing my husband and I have learned is that life happens to all of us. When one of us is having a challenging day, the other partner does their best to support them. If that supporting partner them self has a small issue, they handle it without burdening the already challenged partner. I call this “Taking Turns”. As committed partners you usually know each other better than any other human being. So the support can be loving, clear and insightful. So when there is some new lesson to be learned in current challenges, the clarity of having the space to be supported without having to also worry about their partner creates the room for the learning to occur.

Recently a client of mine had a big bill from their long time veterinarian. This couple had always found the services caring, excellent and fair in price. This bill appeared exorbitant and was upsetting to the wife who had recently brought their family dog in for care. Jill has had a history of finding confronting situations difficult. Dave wanted her to work through this bill with the office herself, so that she could be assertive in dealing with a challenging situation. He was kind, encouraging and listened to all her considerations. Then he agreed to check back with her that evening to find out how she did. Dave also had a demanding client to see first thing that morning, but knew that he could handle this without Jill’s input like they usually tended to do.

Jill resolved the bill at the veterinarian’s office (new staff had over charged and the bill was adjusted) and Dave got through his day just fine. Jill and Dave looked at what had been accomplished, learned and shared. Jill was assertive and resolved a testy situation on her own. She was proud of herself and Dave was really happy for her success too. He could then tell Jill about his challenging day and both partners felt supported, cared about and close. Next time Dave has a large issue to deal with, Jill will offer him the same support and space. They are capable people with their strengths and challenges and opportunities to grow. This is an example of how they, ”Take Turns” in supporting each other grow.