When I was first married I found working out the compromises and agreements of our couple’s life tiring. After all, if I lived alone I’d get to quickly make all my own decisions. As a couple we would live for awhile until we ran into an issue we didn’t agree upon once again. Then we would have go back to negotiating and working it through.

”it would be so easy if I could just decide myself” would run through my mind again. This thought came back into my husband’s mind again too. But we didn’t like that divorce word. We both had witnessed how painful it had been in other couples’ lives and for their children. It motivated us to keep working at the negotiation and conflict resolution stuff.

After over three decades together, the negotiations still come up but the time needed for a plan that works is brief now. We didn’t get there without practice, but practice really worked. So much so that I even teach it now. Who would have guessed?

With so much discussion, learning, airing of good ideas, working on issues together and the like, my husband has ended up being my best consultant and trusted advisor. And I am his. Who would have thought that two people who had so often been on opposing sides would end up as dear collaborators?

With knowing each other so well now, we don’t consider collaborating on decisions with each other limiting but freeing instead. Two heads and hearts can offer much more. Maybe I wait until tomorrow to make a final decision and maybe he has me take a look before he signs on the dotted line. We have found that we have learned patience and made consistently sounder decisions. This has provided the freedom of success of living a life in partnership and love.