I grew up in New England and was taught very traditional views on sexuality. Once I became sexually active, I was clear that sex is a gift from god. Regardless of what I was taught, I thought how could anything that feels so good be wrong? Yet I am not sorry that I took my time choosing the right partner to discover the “joy” with.

This blog is a reminder to take good care of your sexuality with your partner. It is a gift to the relationship. We can be close to friends, relatives and coworkers but we can’t have sex with them. At least not if we are keeping good boundaries. The privilege of the committed relationship is that you get to have sex with your significant other too.

So what does take care of the sexual relationship mean? It means make room for sex on a regular basis regardless of your busy schedules. When you first met you could hardly take your hands off each other. It felt so good to become as one. Then at some point it all can start to feel so familiar. That’s when you need to work on keeping it fresh, new and loving. “Oh all right let’s do it” doesn’t cut it. Sometimes though when the kids are just asleep, “let’s go” is a good idea. I say don’t let time pass you by. Sexuality needs to be nurtured and practiced to stay alive.

Have some fun with each other. Talk about what feels good to each of you. Talk about what you like and what you’ve been wanting to try. Read great books on the subject. Maybe your partner loves sexuality in nature. Try camping as soon as possible. Maybe you both like setting the mood with candles and a bath. If you put interest, and effort and energy into your sex life, it will reward you tenfold. Remember it’s a gift.