Sometimes I am afraid to talk about some of what I do in my office because I don’t want to scare you away. Not all marriages and committed relationships go through horrible challenges. The truth is, though, all relationships have their great times and their challenging times. What I know for sure is that they can be healed.

In my office some couples just need a “Tune Up” on how to express love and caring. Many couples need more. They maybe have waited a long time to come in and patterns from their childhood are surfacing. I guide the couple to talk about their childhood memories and hurts. No one escapes completely. Maybe you had a bullying classmate, critical teacher, abusive parent, neglectful household, a childhood disease or always compared yourself to someone important to you.

Inside you may be harboring negative feelings about yourself that you don’t want to recognize. You may use any addiction out there not to feel the pain. Walking through these years again brings a release of those old negative emotions and the choice of whether to continue the dysfunctional patterns you used to not feel them.

Sharing these hurts and wounds is actually intimacy building with your partner. Everyone has them. So in the sharing, everyone gets to release theirs in a safe, loving environment. Compassion for each other grows out of really knowing each other. After all, you both have already shared the” looking good” stuff.

After the memories , the patterns of your family can be changed beginning with the both of you. Intimate satisfying marriage, healthy parenting, loving family times enacted. That’s the reward for this kind of work.

I thank you for your trust and courage.